For so long I’ve felt like asking for help makes you weak and a lot of times I still feel that way, but as I get older I find that pretending you don’t need it is the real weakness. NF
There are many people out there who struggle to ask others for help. Some of us struggle with all different types of things, and it’s even a bit more complex for those who struggle spiritually. Honestly, the last thing I want to do is burden someone else with my personal problems. The type of stuff that I should be able to bring to God, but even in that sense I still feel this shame come over me for even thinking about it. Anxiety can cause us from having to talk with someone, it can stop us from seeking the help that we really need.
We go through life showing people a side of us that they expect and want to see, while deep down we are crying out. The other day I had posted a little rant, and right off the bat people commented that I should take into consideration that the person may have been crying out for help. See now here’s the thing, I did feel like I contradicted myself in a way but finally realized that I didn’t. No. I didn’t mention any names in my rant or point my finger at anyone in particular. You can only help someone so much, and so many times before you realize that they won’t change. No matter how hard you try to be there for that person. It requires effort on their part as well, you can’t force someone to tell you what is wrong or handcuff them until they spill their guts out. We’re like that, we cry for help but never move from our seats. We expect someone to come to us, someone who will finally get it and understand what it is we’re going through.
I’m not saying I’m any better cause I’m not, I still struggle with asking for help when I need it. All that comes to mind is the shame, and feeling unworthy. Some would even call it being selfish. I constantly fail myself and those around me, and yet I don’t do anything about it. That’s because I refuse to get up off of this seat of mine, and go out and talk to those who may be able to relate to whatever it is I’m going through. It’s like there’s this invisible duct tape over my mouth, God takes it off and I put it right back on. Just the other day my mom came up and told me “Maria you have to stop being so hard on yourself and give yourself some credit every once in a while”. I keep looking at the calendar and noticing that 2018 is literally right around the corner. Lately, I’ve been telling myself that for 2018 I’m going to treat myself better, give myself a break and work on the things that I lack. Take it day by day, you know? Finally get out and seek help from the one who has been there for me since day one. Jesus. Jesus is the very first thing that is on my lips once mid-night strikes and the new year is in.
So do yourself a favor, read this next line out loud if you need to. Stop being so hard on yourself, God sees your worth even when you don’t, He loves you for you and if He didn’t then He never would’ve given you life. Whatever sin you’re struggling with spiritually, I can guarantee you that there are others struggling with the same thing. Stop blaming the world for your anger, your bitterness, your heartache, because you have the choice to crawl out of the hell hole you’re in. Stop letting your negative thoughts separate you from what you know is true. Fight it. Don’t stop fighting, don’t ever give up, and don’t ever feel afraid/ashamed to ask for help or even seek advice. It’s better to speak than to stay silent for the rest of your life.
He sees that you are worthy, even if you don’t.