Confessions of a Recovering Perfectionist


Psalms 18:32 says…

It is God who arms me with strength, and makes my way perfect.

This week’s devotional talked about perfectionism. So before I began I looked up the definition of perfectionism, and this is what I found.

Refusal to accept any standard short of perfection.

As I was finishing up this week’s devotional, I began to think and wonder of what God must think when He looks down at me. This is what I imagine Him saying…”What in the world is she doing?”. Seriously though, I’m sure He asks Himself this question more than once a week. When it comes to making mistakes, especially if I’m the one making the mistakes. I tend to be quite hard on myself, because in my head if I don’t get something right the first time then that’s it. I’ve failed. It literally rattles my brain, and so my failure quickly turns into my frustration.

All in all I am not the type of person who copes well with failure, or accepting the fact that I made a mistake in the process of whatever it is I was doing. There are some nights where I go back to those moments and I beat myself up over them, which factors in me not having a good night’s sleep. We all strive for perfection, and sometimes we make ourselves believe that we are capable of taking on more than we already can. We cannot perfect ourselves on our own, nor can we force such a thing to happen.

God sees our faults and failures as an open window for Himself. He sees it in a way for Him to display His goodness, and His glory…HE perfects us. I think back to Mary and Martha in the bible, and how Jesus was on His way to visit their home. While Mary was calm and relaxed, Martha was in more of a panic mode. I feel as if Martha felt obliged to make the house look neat, and in order for Jesus’ appearance. As the story goes when Jesus finally makes his arrival, Martha at this point is already upset because Mary hadn’t lifted a finger to help Martha out. Jesus already knew the state Martha was in, and informed her that not everything needs to be done…or perfect in other words. Jesus also stated that the way Mary chose to act was right. If you think about this a little bit further, even Jesus’ disciples were not all that perfect. As a matter of fact most of His disciples were known for their humility.

As many faults as we have, and as much as we mess up in this life…nothing can change the way God views us. He sees us worthy, and embraces us when we’ve hit the lowest points in our life. He never turns away, His arms will be forever open for those who are willing and ready to come to Him.

So with all of this being said, you must know that it’s okay to make mistakes and that you don’t always have to have it together. He sess your flaws as a canvas to paint on, so allow Him to do just that and more.

Perfectionism is not the enemy, we just make it seem that way.


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